The only thing guaranteed to come out is the sun, the moon and the truth.
Without acknowledgement of the truth, there can never be healing. All of my professions have required truth telling to their highest degree.
As a mortgage and sales representative for one of Canada’s largest banks I was required to investigate the truth of one’s accounts and finances before offering them a loan. Pretending that they could afford that house, without actually getting clear on how much they brought in, would never serve that client long term.
Without the truth of their financial capabilities, they would end up in a situation way over their heads and I would put them at great risk of financial collapse if we never looked at what the truth was of what was coming in, and what was coming out.
As a teacher of yoga, I have witnessed again and again, the simple act of sitting still for the first time creating a downpouring of emotion and tears because it was the first time that that student had ever been present to how they really felt. Simply creating the space for stillness and encouraging students to internally watch, has been one of the wildest truth revealing exercises to witness. I’ve witnessed the simple act of paying attention on purpose, to one’s truth, leading to a cascade of positive life changing events following suit. Because now they know the truth. So now…..they know what to do.
The truth of how bad things really are.
The truth of how they’re actually feeling.
The truth of how they cope, deny, or hold things back.
As a coach now, I’m skilled and trained to listen for the truth. What is being said between the words? What are they masking with words but ignoring inside? What is the truth of their thought processes, the truth of their actions, the truth of where they’re headed?
The truth is clear.
And clarity IS kind.
That doesn’t mean we go around telling people we think that their pants are ugly and we don’t like their cooking.
As a yogi, we follow the code. The yogi code. And the code says #1, above ALL else,
Insulting someone (for no reason), is causing harm.
Addressing someone’s addiction in a safe and supportive circle may insult or harm them temporarily, but with the greater purpose of releasing them from harm.
Looking at your finances? Ouch, that hurts too. But with the greater purpose of getting clear on spending and saving for long term gain.
Paying attention to how bad you hurt inside? Not so pleasant. But that paying attention on purpose, feeling that rock bottom, is exactly what will heal you and move you forward.
The second law of the yogi code?
If the truth is spoken to help release us, or release them from harm then it must be spoken.
There’s a lot of us attempting to be kind…..by withholding the truth. There’s a lot of us ignoring facts, in order to sugar coat a scenario. We hear upsetting truths and shut them down thinking that it’s more polite to not speak those truths. That being polite is the way to do no harm.
But always remember that clear IS kind.
I see this in my own home community where there is denial about crime and denial about problems and issues. Some aren’t ready to address the truth because speaking the truth means dealing with the problem. It’s much easier to say that there is no problem at all. But is it really easier to deny the existence of a problem and have it live with us forever?
Pretending that it doesn’t exist isn’t polite or helpful. It actually just causes more harm.
If we’re brave enough to put politeness aside and recognize that clarity is in fact kind, we can now move forward with solutions that are helpful for all. With clarity we can get a good picture of our needs. Now, we can make a plan. Now we can make solutions.
There’s a way to be kind…..and truthful.
Solutions come from truth and there’s no way around it. When we are brave enough to speak this truth for ourselves, and for others, we can collectively make solutions that support the whole. Lies, denial of problems, and covering up our wounds will only ever lead to more harm.
Yes, the truth is uncomfortable sometimes…..but so is marinating in our problems for a lifetime.
Be brave, speak the truth and remember…
Clear IS kind.
With grace and grit,