You can’t change your life based on the level of thought alone.
This is an old model where we believe we can just “think” our way out of addiction, depression, anxiety, poor relationships, stress and the like.
There are behaviours we need to change in order to change our life.
So why can’t we just stop the bad behaviours? Why can’t we just leave our jobs that we hate, move onto new loving relationships, stop smoking, lose weight, or start the project we’ve been ruminating on for years?
Changing behaviours isn’t quick and easy because when we begin to transform our life we trigger our survival mechanisms that have been keeping us small and safe for years. These survival mechanisms have saved us in the past. They’ve provided ways for us to cope with stressors, traumas and situations that were hard.
When our survival mechanisms are challenged we go into fight or flight. It’s stressful to make changes to our lives because it’s new and uncertain. We can’t just change behaviors right away because there is other work we need to do first.
We must address our original pains and traumas that created our survival patterns.
We must address our beliefs about that incident, ourselves and the world.
Acknowledging these events and belief systems creates powerful emotions that create the necessary fuel for action and behaviour change. Thinking doesn’t carry the intensity that emotion does and your negative emotions can be your greatest ally. Generating emotion first, helps us change our stories and thoughts around the incident which then helps us change our behaviour.
You see, there’s a whole ladder of transformation to help us get unstuck. We remain stuck when we only work on one ladder rung. There is no such thing as small traumas and we all have them.
These original incidents generate beliefs that sound like this:
The world is a scary place
I’m too old/fat/young/dumb, insert poor self talk here
I don’t have enough time
I am powerless
Things never works out for me
It’s always been this way
I have to put others first
It’s not safe for me to be myself
My parents wouldn’t approve
God doesn’t listen to me
Things have to be perfect before I try
“People tend to be uncomfortable with success and honesty and form unconscious agreements to keep it safe, keep it vague, and keep it mediocre.” ~ Mastin Kipp
Our brains are wired to be efficient. Our brains have decided that it’s not efficient to waste time arguing with ourselves. This is where coaching and other people come in. Having others reflect back to us our stories and beliefs, and having a neutral party help us think about our thinking, helps us INTERRUPT this pattern.
It helps us become aware of our limiting beliefs, stories and behaviours. Because this process is intense, having someone in your corner to support you, to tell you that this is normal and you can make it through to the other side is what leads you to freedom.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to chose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” – Viktor Frankl
YOU get to decide what the events in your life mean. No matter what has happened to you.
Eventually if you want to shift from pain to purpose, there’s some work to do. It takes courage and a support system.
If you’re tired of staying stuck, tired of thinking about changing without making the changes or tired of just not getting what you want, it’s time to commit to the shift.
I created a group coaching program called THE SHIFT. Together in a small safe container, we will work our way up this ladder of transformation from pain to purpose. Most of the content will be delivered electronically and you will do the work in the privacy of your home. Then monthly you will receive live group coaching.
THE SHIFT is a 12 month journey. While it doesn’t take a long time to learn this material or understand a concept….it can take awhile to embody, practice and integrate these concepts into your life. For that reason THE SHIFT will only be unlocked one month at a time. This will prevent you from breezing through all the content without doing the work.
Accountability partners from the group will keep you on task and will help you feel safe and supported as we learn from each other.
This is not spiritual entertainment…..this is transformational soul work. This is for those who recognize that the pain of not changing, is worse than the pain of staying stuck. This is for those who are ready for accountability and will show up for themselves and the group. Space is limited to 14 individuals who will go through an application process to make sure the program is right for them and the others in the group.
What’s on the other side of this work?
Everything that you’ve been wanting.
More details coming soon. Application forms will be released soon and we begin September 30th 2021.